On Nonconsensual in BDSM Fiction

I haven’t had many negative reviews of my work, but every one focuses on the nonconsensual nature of a few of my books, like this one about Training My Professor:

Unsolicited blackmail is not fun fantasy. - Paulskim

I disliked because it is about blackmail done in a non-consensual way. I kept reading because I liked a previous book from this author and the development was well written at first, leaving us thinking that there could be a chemistry between the two. But finally the story is only about a selfish and sadistic female student whose goal is to break her professor to possess as soon as possible a well-trained slave; if you like harsh bdsm fantasies you might enjoy but I did not.

I’m glad you liked my previous book and thank you for saying it was well written at first (though this is somewhat of a backhanded compliment). Second, unsolicited blackmail is not fun fantasy…for you. You don’t like unsolicited blackmail and I don’t like people making blanket statements about what can and can’t be fantasized. We have kinks and fetishes for a lot of different reasons. Some even come from trauma. For me personally, my blackmail fetish comes from feeling ashamed of my femdom desires as a child and wanting a safe way to indulge them. I couldn’t fully accept that I wanted to be fucked with a strapon dildo, so I fantasized it happening against my will. This developed into a fetish in its own right. I can tell you from experience that being ashamed of your deepest longings sucks, and that these fantasies gave me peace.

I’m obviously not alone in this, given how much erotica shows someone being taken against their will. You can even hire real life prostitutes to simulate a gang rape. Judge that harshly if you want, but consider that the people who do this are safely exploring their shadow desires. This seems healthier to me than denial and shame. And yes, there are some books that explore nonconsensual blackmail and/or rape in disturbing ways. The problem is with that particular approach, not with the entire concept.

I’d like to share the next review I received about Training My Professor, as it does a better job than I could in answering Paulskim’s review:

One man’s journey to becoming a devoted lover & servant - Devoted Man

Captures the deep connection a woman can have with a devoted servant and lover. Yes it does start with a nonconsensual premise but in the end I found the relationship to be very much consensual.
And, it’s fiction, so there’s room for fantasy that one would not condone in real life. Actually blackmailing someone is abhorrent.
A fantasy where a woman you are intensely attracted to blackmails you into doing what you fantasized about doing anyway, that can be a fun read.

Thank you, Devoted Man.

Fantasy is where we can let go of the shame and explore our most fucked up, embarrassing desires, the ones were not totally comfortable admitting we want, even to ourselves. It is our safe space, and I hate to see it cordoned off under the guise of morality.